Dating Someone In A Polygamous Marriage – Tips From Sister Wives APP
So, you’ve met
someone you’re very interested in. There’s only one thing about them you’re
unsure about: They’re a polygamist, and you’ve only ever known monogamy. What do you do? We’re here to help you figure
out if a polygamous marriage is right for you. Polygamy Dating
Understanding
What Polygamy is
Though the most
popular form of polygamy involves one husband with multiple sister wives, that
doesn’t apply to all polygamists. That form is known as polygyny. Its opposite form, where one woman
has multiple wives, is called polyandry. Contrary to what you may think,
polygamy is not simply an open marriage, and it is not a dictatorship. Though
one person is married to multiple people, theirs is not the only opinion
matters in the group. The decision to take another spouse is typically
discussed as a group. If the number of other partners they have or plan to have
matters to you, be sure to initiate a conversation with them about this before
you get in too deep. Sister Wives APP
Think
About What You Want
Picture your life
5, 10, even 20 years from now. You may have already pictured this multiple
times, but probably not with a polygamous version of yourself. But are the two
versions really that different? Say you pictured yourself living in a house
with two children and have a healthy marriage. You won’t have to sacrifice
those things if you choose to marry into polygamy. Like the beginning of any
relationship, you will have to have these conversations with the person you’re
dating to be sure your futures and goals line up. If you decide to not go
through with the relationship, no one will hold that against you. Just be sure
you’re open and honest about where your head is at, too. You expect that from
them, so be sure to provide the same courtesy. Polygamy
Website
Even though
polygamy is illegal in many countries including the US, that doesn’t mean you can’t
have the wedding ceremony of your dreams. Though you won’t be legally married
to them, that doesn’t mean you can’t call each other husband and wife. Know
that polygamists date to marry. So if marriage isn’t in the cards for you yet
(or ever) then it may be best to not continue the relationship. Also, keep in
mind that the poly community continues to fight and make progress toward the
legalization of poly marriages in the not-so-distant future. Polygamy Dating APP
Prepare
Yourself to Confront Your Insecurities
We know what your
biggest concern is: Dealing with jealousy. Jealousy in a poly relationship is
something all sister wives and partners have had to deal with. In monogamous
relationships, people often don’t deal with their own insecurities before
committing to each other, which can create a strain on their relationship.
These internal issues often lead to things like codependency and making your
partner the sole source of your self-worth. Which can lead to the two people
breaking up, even though they would have been great together if they knew how
to deal with these insecurities before getting serious. This is where people
can learn a lot from poly relationships. Poly Dating
We’re not saying
it’s impossible for these things to happen in polygamous marriages, but it’s
far less likely. Why? Because poly people know going into it that they have to
be as open as humanly possible with their future family. Your spouse will
respect and love you, but they won’t replace your need for individual internal
growth, and you won’t replace theirs. The growth and compassionate communication skills developed
as a polygamist are skills that every human need. While being poly is obviously
not the only way to develop these traits, it certainly provides motivation to
do so - and a built-in support system!
Get to
Know Their Spouse(s)
In a monogamous
relationship, there’s only one new personality to adjust to. Joining a poly
family means you’ll have to get used to life around multiple personalities.
Understand that some partners may not want to meet you right off the bat. Not
because they won’t accept you, but because they’re aware that your mind isn’t
made up about polygamy, so they may not want to overwhelm you or get too
attached themselves. This isn’t always the case, but something to be aware of
nonetheless. However, this doesn’t mean you can’t ask about them. Let your
boyfriend or girlfriend be the delegate between you. That way, you’ll know a
little about each other when you do meet. Find a Sister Wife
If you’re seriously
leaning towards pursuing a polygamous marriage, it’s time to meet your future
sister wives. If you aren’t fond of that term, know that you don’t actually
have to call each other that. You can come up with terms you’re comfortable
with. Or, feel free to not have an official name for the bond between you. Know
that you may not become best friends just because you share a spouse, but that
doesn’t mean you can’t care about and respect each other. Go into the introduction
with reasonable expectations, but be honest with yourself about what you can
and can’t live with.
Final
Advice
Never commit to
anything that will make you unhappy in the long run or expect your partner to
leave their spouse and pursue monogamy with you. If you decide to pursue a
polygamist, know that you must be open and honest with any fears or hesitations
you may have. And vice versa, if a polygamist decides to pursue you knowing
that you have only ever know monogamy, they must show you the same consideration
and patience you show them. It’s important to ask questions and have the poly
person educate you.
Many times in life,
great risk results in great reward. Date at a speed you’re comfortable with and
don’t tolerate any pressure. Also don’t give up on a person you feel a special
connection to just because you’re scared. All successful relationships require
growing individually and together. Know that the choice of whether that
relationship is polygamous is ultimately yours, but you owe yourself the opportunity
to consider it if you hadn’t before. It may seem scary, but it could also be
the greatest decision of your life!
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